Monday, April 26, 2010

Hitting on Naivety

So I got invited to this great party the other night, one of those Hollywood shindigs that musicians and actors go to, the ones that everyone in Hollywood who is "in the know" goes to, so right, anyhow, I went to this party and it turned out to be anything but what I expected. This could be because it was a musically themed party with a bunch of chill, laid-back rockers from a couple of different generations or the fact that if you were old, young, thin, fat, tall, short, rich, or poor didn't matter; what mattered was that you had a good time and didn't go all paparazzi on anyone. People laughed and mingled liked they were all old friends and no one really cared who anyone else was. So, if I were to ever be rich and happy, I think I would throw a party like this one - free top shelf and happiness to spread with a live stream of good rock music to boot.

Ok, getting back on track... the point of this entry is not to brag about going to a cool Hollywood party, but to have you lot ponder with me the question of why certain men hit on certain women. Simple question, right? Not so much. In my experience (and I used this term lightly because my experience of being hit on is limited and faulted by way of my crazy person pheromone) I've found that what clothes you wear effects what type of man you get, but only to a certain degree. If I wore sexy club clothes, yes, I'm bound to get a dim-witted 30-something slandering over to ask if I would like a drink, but if I wore my more typical flair of punk, I'd attract less of a crowd, but normally someone in the mid to late 40's or above would wander my way.

Herein lies my confusion. Why is it that if I dress all nice (which inadvertently makes me look older - more my age), I happen to get men in the 20-30 year old range to buy me a drink, but if I dress in my black t-shirts and spiked cuffs, the "older" crowd finds me "cute". I shouldn't really be offended that I'm getting hit on in the first place, but it baffles my mind to think that the older I look, the younger the crowd that hits on me is and the younger I look, the older the suitors. There's a little paedophilia thing happening subtly and that frightens me. Yes, I'm older than 18, but just because I dress like a younger than 27-year-old woman, doesn't mean I want to date someone twice my age and someone who isn't even a sugar daddy (not that I'm saying I would ever date a sugar daddy - I find them disturbing).

What is it about the nonchalant, "I-can-kick-your-ass" look that appeals to these older gentlemen? Why do the younger men avoid the "punks"? Is it because the younger generation is scared of things that take work (hitting on someone that isn't going to fall for a corny one-liner) and they'd rather just score with little to no effort? Do the older men feel they've tried and lost with the older women and since they've been around longer, not much scares them, so they'll take their chances with a younger woman or do they feel that they've battled this many years of life, so what is one stubborn woman, but an amazing challenge?

I would really like to get anyone's opinions on this matter. It confuses me and I need answers. This lovely question stems from the fact that the only man brave enough to talk to me, let alone dance with me at the party was a man in his early fifties, who I thought at first was just being friendly, but after he tried to kissed me I realized 1) I'm naive, and 2) men are dip shits.

So comments/suggestions anyone....anyone...?

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Em you do look young but I think maybe the older guys are more attracted to someone who has more confidence & isn't afraid to dress however they feel comfortable. So maybe it is your body language that is sending mixed signals not your clothes. Similarly the younger guys are probably looking for a different type girl.

Anonymous said...

Older men have money to spend on a chick who looks poor. Younger guys want a women who looks together with money to take care of them.
Either way- dress for you and when the right one comes along you will feel it and there will be little to no drama as you fall in love and like. Most of the guys you date are likely to be a complete waste of time. You can be you and a guy who has chemistry with you will move a mountain to get to you. That book-"He's just not that into you" is dead on.

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