Muzzling Debbie, Accepting Susie

Another year, a new decade, a whole expanse of time to change circumstances, reconnect or reaffirm relationships, see new wonders, and reinvent oneself. Apparently this new year has given me back my writing muse. Sorry for the long delay, but apparently politics/voting zaps my creativity and my writing turns into a puddle of useless words, merging into nonsense. Yes, I've had some ideas on what to tell all my lovely and loyal readers, but none of it was very helpful or particularly nice. You know how there are those people that constantly irk your angry side, yea, I've had a few run ins with annoying people and I really wanted to voice my opinions in writing, but then I thought, "once it's on the Internet, there are no take backs." As I've notice from my new reader, Fire Panda, people actually google their names, therefore my would-have-been rant of hatred for certain people could have possibly been read by said people and although Blogger is a form of "free speech", I don't particularly want to get into a Libel war with anyone who has more money than me (which essentially is everyone).

Ok, on to bigger and better, or less oppressive topics. I think my goal for this year is to try and be more positive. I know it might seem odd to the people that actually know me, but I can change. I used to be so much worse at voicing my dislike for everything until all my friends started to called me Debbie, as in Downer. Over time, whether I managed to control my ugly feelings or interesting opinions is unclear, but the fact that I didn't voice them aloud as often as I could have, is what matters (considering I'm one of the bluntest people most people will ever meet, but it's more because I'm oblivious to social etiquette than general rudeness). But now it seems that little Debbie is crawling her way back up my throat and jumping out of my mouth at the worse possible times. Bad Debbie, bad.

So my resolution this year is that Debbie gets a muzzle and I try and find happiness in all the crap that is thrown at me. The good thing is, if someone around me is negative, my brain goes in reverse and I become Susie Sunshine. It's a little frightening, but I guess I subconsciously want to me the opposite of the people around me. I wonder what Freud would say to that, but then again, he was a freak of a man who had not so nice theories on women in general. Maybe I don't really want his opinion afterall.

Anyhow, what are some of your New Years resolutions?

I'll also leave you guys with this lovely cooking adventure I had this morning. You might as well read a small tale of mishap after re-stumbling across my cobwebbed blog. For some reason I woke up and decided I wanted pancakes. Not sure why considering I don't really like them, but I followed my stomach's craving and Googled a homemade recipe. Simple: sugar, flour, egg, and water - mix, and pour into a hot, buttered fry pan. What could possibly go wrong? Um...me cooking. The batter was too thick because the recipe was sucky, my roommate added a ton of butter to the pan to cook the blobs of thick dough in, and it took about 10 burnt-on-one-side/half-raw-in-the-middle pancake impersonators before I managed a few golden brown amoebas that tasted like semi chewy biscuits. Yep, I'm pretty sure having a mother that taught 3-6 year-olds how to cook didn't help to improve my sub-sub-par "cooking" skills. Next time I'm just gonna suck it up and go to a diner. Who knew even the simplest of things needs a little talent, talent which eludes me.