Selfishly Charitable

If you just happen to win the Lottery tomorrow and never had to worry about money again, what would you do? Are you the type of person that goes on a gigantic spending spread, buying all those little goodies - the Mega TV, that yellow Hummer, a vacation house in the South of France- that you've always dreamed about but never thought you'd actually have? Are you the type of person that is uber responsible and pays off all your bills, debt, your parent's mortgage, your kid's college loans, and anything else that Uncle Sam wants to get you for? Or are you the type of person that doesn't really want the money, so you decide to give it away - to charities, people on the street, non-profits, etc.?

My office has a bi-weekly lottery pool where most of my co-worker put a dollar into the pot and if the ticket wins, they all share the money. I always refuse. It's not that I couldn't use the money, but I think money changes a person. It doesn't matter if you're the nicest person in the world or the Country's biggest curmudgeon, money has a way of alternating your morals and often turning you into a prima dona. You end up forgetting where you came from, how you were brought up, and suddenly you expect to be able to dismiss traffic laws, get in anywhere without a reservation, and receive prompt service wherever you go. It's like you think that since you now have money, the world should afford you unwarranted elite stature. Is money so powerful, that it instantly raises ones social status?

With that said, I think if I ever happen to win the lottery, or randomly inherit a fortune, I would be that odd person who would give most of it away. I find more joy in buying things for other people than I do for myself, but it's not because I want to be nice, it's because I'm a bastard.

If I had more money then I knew what to do with, I think it would be fun to drive through a Toll Booth and pay for the 10 cars behind me, not because it's a lovely jester, but because I know that those 10 driver's will spend the rest of the day wracking their brains to try and figure out if they know me, because that would be the only reason someone would pay their toll, right? Some would try to speed along the bridge to catch a glimpse of my face, looking for familiarity, but they wouldn't find any and that would perplex them further.

I get a perverse pleasure out of other people's confusion. We're a society of cynics, whether we think so or not, because we just can't fathom getting something for free. It's not a possibility in the world we've created for ourselves and therefore we will constantly ponder why someone is doing something nice for us unwarranted, we have to uncover their ulterior motive. This is what propels me to be charitable, people's inability to accept it and consequently their anguish in finding meaning to a random act of kindness.

I think it would be awesome to send an address-less envelope containing the deed and keys to a new home to the 18-year-old in the news who is supporting his siblings while attending University and working two jobs. It would be interesting to leave a $100 tip on a $5 dollar bill just see see the waiter's face light up and then turn confused because it such a steep percentage. It would be fantastic to go into a hospital and pay the weekly bill for all the children in the oncology ward without leaving my name because it would be like a God send to the parents. I'd like to select random people in debt and become their anonymous benefactor, helping them succeed, but never letting them know who I am.

All of these charitable donations would be very beneficial to the recipients, but I wouldn't do it because I'm Mother Teresa, more so because of the merriment I'd get from causing the beneficiaries to constantly wonder about where the money came from and why they are getting it. It's like the saying goes, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," some things just are and if you accept that, then alls well. But I know, they will never accept without knowing the reasoning and that's where I find my joy. I'm really a mean old Scrooge at heart.

What would you do with all the money in the world?