Diets and Thoughts of Murder

So when my co-workers found out I started a diet, they were like, "Why, you don't need to lose weight." "You're already thin." "Huh?" I responded with, "My friend wanted to go on a diet and she needed someone to split the cost of groceries with, so now I get to eat meals that are titled 'Watercress and Almond Salad with Roasted Onion Dressing' or 'Pan-Roasted Salmon with Wilted Chard and Tomato-Mint Raita' that are all home cooked by my friend, packed in lovely Tupperware containers and stocked in my fridge ready for consumption at a moments noticed." What could be better than yummy, healthy food that I don't have to cook myself?

Now, they're all like, "Yeah, I'd go on that diet." Plus I get to eat tons of snacks like: fruit, yogurt, edamame guacamole, nuts, turkey bacon, etc. It's awesome and I could do with losing the love handles.

My Friend needed Soy Milk for the diet and it was my job to pick it up from the market, but of course I forgot to get it the first night she asked and had to detoured on my way home this evening to the local Ralphs (grocery store) for the milk. Once I found the refrigerated aisle, I searched high and low for the wanted item, but among all the cow based milk products, coffee creams, and whipping creams, I discovered a void of empty shelves to which I leaned in to inspect the price labels attached to the blank metal and discovered the answer to why I couldn't spot the soy milk.

I walked the length of the coolers and still, could not find the one item I was entrusted to obtain. I felt like a failure, here, my friend is slaving away in the kitchen to feed me (and herself) and I can't even find her the one lousy fake-milk product she'd asked me to get? Man, I'm lame. I really didn't want to go to another Raplhs, mainly because I was tired and it was the opposite direction of my house, so I searched up and down the aisles for a Raplhs employee in hopes they could solve the mystery of the missing milk.

I finally spotted a lone employee asking the one other customer in the Raplhs if they needed help finding anything as the customer shook their head and walked on by. I stopped and said I needed help.

"Do you have Soy Milk?"

"Um, they moved them to the back where I can't even find them," the clerk said with a straight face.

I totally thought he was being sarcastic, so I responded with, "Oh, so they hide them [soy milk] from you too?"

"Yep."

A pregnant pause. I debated if the guy was messing with me, but when he sort of just stood there and said nothing more, I realized he was dead serious.

"Do you think you can go in the back and try to find me a container?" I looked impatient.

He stared at me for another few seconds.

"I really do need the milk." This finally propelled him into action and he slandered down the aisle and through the "Employees Only" double doors. 5 minutes later, after debating whether to cut my loss and head to another Raplhs, he shuffled through the doors empty handed and asked, "What brand do you need?"

Seriously!!!! I was about ready to kill the guy, debating if he was mental or really lazy.

"Any kind as long as it's regular soy milk." I about growl.

He turned and walked back through the grey doors. 3 minutes later I was walking to the cash registers with Organic Soy Milk in hand while thinking that I now have to pay for the most expensive fake milk the store sells and should I report the moron to his bosses for having bad costumer service or just pay for the milk and get the hell out of the store? I decided home was a much better option than being an asshole and I finally exited Raplhs 10 minutes after entering with one item in hand.

Sometime, it's the little things that can cause you such annoyance and possibly make you homicidal. Beware idiot Raplhs guy, you're on my list!