Puppy Love

My neighbor, Diana (aka "Little Di" as I call her because I know two Diana's) invited me to take her Mother's dog, Foxy, to the dog beach to get some exercise. We researched a couple of dog beaches around LA and discovered that Long Beach was actually closer and easier to drive to then the far, butt-fuck, Malibu (almost to Oxnard) beach. We headed out and made it to the beach in about 30 minutes, much to Foxy's excitement. Once on the sand, Diana's medium sized, fox-looking, mutt dog ran around in joy to be free from the "dreadful leash", but never actually strayed too far from us. We discovered that Foxy's a little bit of a wimp; would only go up to dogs smaller then her, mostly shit kickers, and bully them until one of the Chihuahua's got feed up and yapped back, causing Foxy to bolt away. Freaking wimp.

There was a supper cute French Mastiff that took a genuine liking to Foxy, but had her cowering behind Di and I instead of playing. (Wimp) Di tried to encourage Foxy to play with the Mastiff, but failed and then geared her towards the water, which just made her skittish, so Di gave up and hoped Foxy would just chase a dog bigger than a cat; Foxy wasn't having any of it...well, until Buddy came along. Buddy was a 105 pound, adorable brown eyed rottweiler that loved to sniff butts and lean against people to have his back rubbed. I've found that the bigger a dog is, the more they like to lend into humans, which can be a slightly scary thing if the dog weights more than you or accidentally steps on your toes moving in for a good pet.

Aside from Buddy's need to constantly sniff Foxy, he had a nasty habit of drooling thick white mucus all over his mouth and occasionally on top of his head as he shook his mouth in joy at being pet or seeing something he liked. This wouldn't have really bothered me too much if he didn't like to make a beeline with his mouth for my leg before turning at the last moment to press his body against said leg for a pet. I had to constantly dodge doggy drool, ewwww, because Buddy decided to take a particular liking to me. Petting is one thing, but drool is another.

As I was standing and talking with Di and Buddy's owner (I never caught his name), Buddy decided to come at me again for what I thought was going to be a rub, so I maneuvered out of his slobber range, when he stops and lifts his leg. I'd been too occupied with avoiding drool to notice he'd started to pee an inch from my foot. Luckily Di pointed out my misfortune at the same time I realized the evil dog had it in for me and I jumped out of piss range. Buddy's owner, after stopping his stifled laughter, informed me that this wasn't the first time Buddy's decided to "mark" a person. He said Buddy's peed on not many people in the past, but he thinks I was...he takes a pause to truly remember the number before telling me... Buddy's 11th victim. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to feel special that Buddy liked me enough to "mark" me or offended that I was his 11th love interest. If Buddy was a human and I was his 11th date, I might be slightly affronted.

After checking, and rechecking to see that all parts of me were pee free, Foxy and Buddy play some more and Di and Buddy's owner get back to talking. 5 minutes later, Buddy gets bored with Foxy and wanders over to a group of young women and their dogs. One of the women is sitting in a beach chair admiring the ocean when Buddy decides she's "special" as well, and pees right on her towel (which she had draped over her legs). Buddy's owner looks slightly embarrassed and says to us that he should go get his dog, when we all witness Buddy finish peeing and then kick up sand to cover his "marked" spot. Buddy's owner goes, "I don't know that dog," and slightly turns away from the scene. Me and Di are laughing as Di goes, "looks like you're not the only one for Buddy."

I guess not... but at least I'm 11th!